My way is not easy
It´s lined with thorny stickets
I try not to fall cause I know that I have to keep going
Something tears and pulls me down, Im stuck
It´s holding me back, but I don´t know what
The knot in my chest makes it difficult to breath
My tears are burning, they give me deep wounds
Everyone nags
They want to help, I know
But no one can, not yet
I just have to do it my way, on my own
I want to run away sometimes
Escape from everything that hurts
Just to forget everything
Erase the bad memories
How can I make you see?
What will it take for you to understand?
I feel so bad
My soul is black
I hate the panic within me
I hate all the guilt that fills me up
The guilt that comes after every fight
I just want to tell them that I´m sorry
It´s hard, but when I do, I mean it
I want you near but I can not let you in yet
I have to do it my way first
I love you mom
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I call you´re name but you don´t hear me
I want to give you comfort
I want to give you a hug but you just turn away
I want you to talk to me but you´re silent
Something is causing you pain and anxiety
I can see it in your eyes, they´re not lying
I do understand, trust me
But I´m struggling, cause I don´t want you to suffer
You´ve been through enough
It´s hard to grow up, I know
But do you know how tough it is to be a parent?
To die for you is simple, I wouldn´t hesitate for a second
But to live for you is harder
With this I want to tell you that I love you unconditionally
Without burdening you, cause I know that you think it´s tough to talk about feelings like love
However, I´m always gonna be here no matter what and I love you
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