I just want to tell you

My way is not easy

It´s lined with thorny stickets

I try not to fall cause I know that I have to keep going

 

Something tears and pulls me down, Im stuck

It´s holding me back, but I don´t know what

The knot in my chest makes it difficult to breath

My tears are burning, they give me deep wounds

 

Everyone nags

They want to help, I know

But no one can, not yet

I just have to do it my way, on my own

 

I want to run away sometimes

Escape from everything that hurts

Just to forget everything

Erase the bad memories

 

How can I make you see?

What will it take for you to understand?

 

I feel so bad

My soul is black

I hate the panic within me

I hate all the guilt that fills me up

The guilt that comes after every fight

I just want to tell them that I´m sorry

It´s hard, but when I do, I mean it

 

I want you near but I can not let you in yet

I have to do it my way first

I love you mom

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I call you´re name but you don´t hear me

I want to give you comfort

I want to give you a hug but you just turn away

I want you to talk to me but you´re silent

 

Something is causing you pain and anxiety

I can see it in your eyes, they´re not lying

 

I do understand, trust me

But I´m struggling, cause I don´t want you to suffer

You´ve been through enough

 

It´s hard to grow up, I know

But do you know how tough it is to be a parent?

To die for you is simple, I wouldn´t hesitate for a second

But to live for you is harder

 

With this I want to tell you that I love you unconditionally

Without burdening you, cause I know that you think it´s tough to talk about feelings like love

 

However, I´m always gonna be here no matter what and I love you